Originally Posted by Sleazy
Wolves in Sheep's Clothing
The Truth about "Legal Steroids"
by Chris Shugart
Imagine this: A new auto manufacturer hits the scene and starts marketing its cars. They have the Civilian Humer, the Porsch 911, the Ferari 360 Spider, and the coveted Beamer. The ads are slick and the cars look pretty damned good, too. They even list the performance statistics. The Ferari Spider's top speed is 180 mph and it'll reach 63 mph in just 4.5 seconds!
Now, it doesn't take a car buff to smell a rat here, a rather big rat that's been lying out in the heat for a few days. Notice how each name is slightly misspelled. Instead of Ferrari, it's Ferari. Porsch is missing an "e" at the end. Hmm, something funny's going on here. If you were to look at the "Ferari" emblem in the ad, you'd notice it's not quite the same as the real Ferrari emblem. It's very close, but not quite right. Upon closer inspection you'd see that it's not the famous prancing horse, but a kicking donkey! Just who do these jackasses think they are?
And how about those performance stats? Well, they appear to be legitimate Ferrari performance numbers. Did you catch that? Ferrari performance numbers, not "Ferari" performance numbers. And what about that Beamer they sell? Well, is it really a BMW or did these scum bags copyright the slang term "Beamer" so they could use the name for their fake BMW?
Obviously, these aren't the real deal and only those very ignorant about cars (or very stupid about everything) would fall for such a scam. But of course we're talking about the general public here, so this sleazy auto manufacturer would still make a lot of dough. So what if the wheels fall off and the motor gives out after a few months of driving? So what if the cars can't meet those performance standards? This car maker isn't looking for repeat customers after all. This is what's called a short grift, a quick, in and out scam.
A couple of years from now, this maker won't even be around. Instead he'll be involved in other scams, perhaps real estate, psychic hotlines, or (gasp!) supplement manufacturing. Nah, he'd be too late. The wolves in sheep's clothing have already arrived and set up camp in the bodybuilding community.
These ain't steroids, dummy!
Not many things piss me off. I'm a pretty laid back guy. But recently I've been getting a lot of questions about the quality of a certain brand of steroids. It seems this maker has a fat list of e-mail addresses and is clogging the inboxes all over the US with promises of gear without a prescription and without side effects.
So why am I pissed off? Because I logged on to the web site of this company and found a few interesting things, mainly, these aren't steroids! They look like steroids, they sound like steroids, they promise steroid-like gains, but in reality, this company is selling nothing but andro, creatine, and ECA stacks. The name of this company? SDI-Labs. Let's take a closer look at this Florida based company, its advertising, and its products.
The Name Game
First, let's play the name game. SDI-Labs sells Winni-V, D-Bol, Equipose, Masterbolan, Liquid Anodrol, Sustenol 250, Deca Nor 50, Somatroph HGH, and GHB among a few other items. Do those names look familiar? They should, because they're either very close to the names of popular steroids or they're based on slang terms for steroids or other compounds.
For example, they sell Equipose. The real steroid is called Equipoise. They also sell a product called Sustenol 250. Of course, the real Testosterone product is called Sustenon 250. And don't think you're getting stanazolol when you buy Winni-V. The real product is called Winstrol V and "winni" is only a slang term. Same goes for D-Bol. This is not Dianabol (methandrostenolone). Apparently they just called it "D-Bol" and got a copyright on the name. (Another company did that with the name "ECA Stack" in hopes of luring in customers.)
Gee, maybe I should start buying oregano in 55-gallon drums and get the copyright on the name Pot®. I could start a website, take out some ads way in the back of MuscleMag and High Times and be the king of Pot®. All the Potheads® would love me (until they tried it) and I'd make a ton of dough! (You know, if I were a dishonest bottomfeeder, I'd be making a lot more money. Damn these morals! Damn this sense of right and wrong!)
So what's in this stuff anyway since it's obviously not real gear? Well, mainly different kinds of andro supplements, ephedra and caffeine. For example, their D-Bol product contains 100mg of 19-Norandrostenedione and 100mg of 4-Androstenediol (plus a few inconsequential things) and sells for 80 bucks a bottle. (About seven day's worth if used at full dosage.)
"Winni-V" contains 25mg of 19-Norandrostenedione, 110mg B-Cyclodextrin, plus a minimal amount of caffeine and Mahuang (herbal ephedrine). What they've done here is add a little Mahuang and caffeine to the "steroids" that are known for a hardening effect.
Their topical Liquid Anodrol product (made to sound like the steroid Anadrol) contains 100mg of 19-Norandrostenedione and 100mg of 4-Androstenediol. The price? $110 a bottle. And even though this is a topical product, for some reason it comes with a funky looking syringe thingy. I haven't quite figured that part out yet.
And how about that GHB stuff? They didn't change the spelling there, did they? No they didn't. Real GHB (gamma hydroxy butyrate) has been banned actually. Most people liked to use it as a party drug or a relaxant. Real GHB basically made you sleepy and somewhat euphoric. It became known as a "date rape drug" in some circles, hence the ban. So how is SDI-Labs selling it? They aren't, of course.
The ads for "GHB" promise "incredible desire increase, prolonged arousal, and enhanced climax." What's in it? Nothing but 5mg of Yohimbine and 50mg of 4-Androstenediol. The really pathetic part is they give dosage guidelines for women, who of course should stay away from all andro-type products. By the way, the web site makes this note: "GHB is a pending a Trademark of SDI-LABS." (See, that Pot® idea could work!) And yes, SDI-Labs does come out and say that this product doesn't contain real GHB ingredients, if you read the site close enough.
Most of the other products tell the same story: steroid name — cheap andro ingredient. Not only were pill-form andro products manufactured by other companies a failure, SDI-Labs is using very tiny dosages. (Heck, even large doses of this stuff didn't work too well in pill form.) Perhaps this is because they really push you to buy one of their stacks consisting of several products. These can run upward of $820.
They also pull the same trick our fictional car manufacturer did in the intro. They talk about the positive effects of the real steroid hoping you'll make the leap of faith and think their products do the same. This is especially true with their "HGH" product. (See our Dirty Tricks article for the details behind this common scam.)
Besides the names and the hard sell ad copy, these guys also put some deceit into the packaging. My favorite is the D-Bol packaging.
Notice the little animal pictures. They do this so the consumer thinks he's getting some kind of "gray area" or veterinary product. You can even see the words "Vetrinariol." I guess this is supposed to look foreign or something but the word is just gobbledygook; it doesn't exist. In fact, I typed that word into a search engine and the only thing that popped up was from Spamcop.net, a site that allows you to send a public spam report to network administrators. Apparently, SDI-Labs has been turned in for spamming.
The "winni" package is also made to look like a real pharmaceutical product.
This type of packaging is expensive compared to just putting pills in a bottle. Hmm, maybe that's why this stuff costs $80 a package! Sheep's clothing is pricey, I guess! Then again, this is the same company that was behind the "Almost Juic'in" product, part of which was a plain bottle of creatine called "Eruption" that sold 400 grams for $50! The price has since been reduced to $30. Still a rip off, of course.
You smell that, too?
To round out the hardcore image, SDI-Labs also likes to put syringes in their ads beside the supplements. This is pure window dressing since none of these are injectable products. Well, that's the official stance at least.