How To Drive In Los Angeles - Bodybuilding Discussion on Bodybuilding.net Open Conversation

Joker13 · 08-23-2007, 07:29 AM

HOW TO DRIVE IN LOS ANGELES

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L A.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L A has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L A and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Map quest does not work here; none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do, and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments; by noon Thursday for Friday; and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

widdoes2504 · 08-23-2007, 07:33 AM

That is way too funny!!!

Definitely good stuff!

UmmmPain · 08-23-2007, 09:23 AM

I'm from L.A and i wen't back there this summer looking for a condo and it sucked. There were too many damn freeway ramps that leads back onto the same ones that you just gotten off an hour ago. Too much traffic i thought it was bad here in San Francisco. Ahhh how I love the bay area.

triqqey · 08-23-2007, 09:26 AM

lol, it's true!

I used to live in L.A. 7 years ago and not much has changed since. There's probably still construction going on to repave a 1/4 mile section of highway.

All hail the L.A. construction workers and their 20 work breaks and hour!

TALO · 08-23-2007, 09:51 AM

Good one, I'll keep this in mind when we take our road trip next yr.

08-23-2007, 07:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
Joker13 Rank: Bantamweight Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Somewhere in the USA Posts: 841 Country: Gender:	How To Drive In Los Angeles HOW TO DRIVE IN LOS ANGELES 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L A. 2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. 3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy". 4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L A has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. 6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot. 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L A and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items. 9. Map quest does not work here; none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do, and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night. 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated." 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. 12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments; by noon Thursday for Friday; and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
	Joker13's Sig:S.F.W's Joker Style Not Based on D.C. Exercise Directory http://www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html

08-23-2007, 07:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
widdoes2504 Rank: Lightweight Experience: 10+ Years Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 1,216 Country: Gender:	That is way too funny!!! Definitely good stuff!
	widdoes2504's Sig:Height: 6 foot Weight: 240 pounds Bench: 415 (1x1) Deads: 565 (1x1) A2G Squat: 425 (1x1) Cardio sucks

08-23-2007, 09:23 AM	#3 (permalink)
UmmmPain Rank: Member Experience: > 1 Year Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: california Posts: 214 Country: Gender:	I'm from L.A and i wen't back there this summer looking for a condo and it sucked. There were too many damn freeway ramps that leads back onto the same ones that you just gotten off an hour ago. Too much traffic i thought it was bad here in San Francisco. Ahhh how I love the bay area.
	UmmmPain's Sig:eat, lift heavy, sleep and repeat currently 175-178lb Bench 245 3x10 and 275 5x5 Current goal bulk to 200-215lb Old enough to go to war but not old enough to drink...

08-23-2007, 09:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
triqqey Rank: Member Experience: > 1 Year Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Podunk, USA Posts: 203 Country: Gender:	lol, it's true! I used to live in L.A. 7 years ago and not much has changed since. There's probably still construction going on to repave a 1/4 mile section of highway. All hail the L.A. construction workers and their 20 work breaks and hour!
	triqqey's Sig:"The iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The iron will always kick you the real deal. The iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends come and go, but 200 pounds is always 200 pounds." -Henry Rollins

08-23-2007, 09:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
TALO Rank: Lightweight Experience: 5-7 Years Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Alberta , Canada Posts: 1,939 Country: Gender:	Good one, I'll keep this in mind when we take our road trip next yr.
	TALO's Sig:"But when do you actually grow? Well, we don't grow in the gym. In the gym, we destroy. We tear down the body. We only grow when we are recovering. That's right, I said recovery. I see it all the time--people beating themselves up in the gym and not seeing results. They don't understand that hitting the weights hard is only a small part of growing or even cutting down. I could train the same all year round and get big or get ripped just by eating different and taking different supplements"

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