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Dr X 04-13-2005 01:27 PM

Jokes
 
"Californians"
>
> So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:
>
> 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.
>
> 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
>
> 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
>
> 4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
>
> 5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?
>
> 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
>
> 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
>
> 8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
>
> 9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
>
> 10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
>
> 11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
>
> 12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
>
> 13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?
>
> 14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
>
> 15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
>
> 16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather - related accidents.
>
> 17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
>
> 18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
>
> 19. The Terminator is your State Governor.
>
> 20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one!!!

apocalypse 04-16-2005 01:49 PM

May be we should get arnold to make pot legal, that way I can just drive to Cali, pick up 100 pounds and come back to GA.

newequation 04-18-2005 12:28 AM

A man walks into a bar.



Ouch.

Dr X 04-23-2005 02:02 PM

Two Irish men leave a bar.

Hey, it could happen! :D

Boxing Raven 04-23-2005 11:35 PM

Hah!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr X
Two Irish men leave a bar.

Hey, it could happen! :D

Okay that totally cracked me up. My wife is total cracka' Irish (with Potato eatin' Mick parents) and I just shot my strawberry/banana smoothy out my nose when I read that.

Thanks Doc

Rave'

:D

p.s. - I was going to post Taurus's training regimine on this "Jokes" thread as a cheap laugh, but then I thought that would be too cruel. Plus he lives close enough to hunt me down. :D

Boxing Raven 04-23-2005 11:36 PM

...rat bastid....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Taurus
What do you call a flatlander who cant sleep at night? The 'Raven'


Taurus, you rat bastid, you beat me to posting on this thread. :D

Dr X 05-04-2005 03:08 AM

A little girl gets lost in the Mall and goes up to a security guard and says, “I can’t find my Grandpa”.
The security guard says, “What’s he like”?

The little girl says, “Young women and Jack Daniels”.

Darkhorse 05-04-2005 11:10 AM

What's the best thing about getting some head?



Ten to fifteen minutes of silence. :p

Darkhorse 05-04-2005 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAURUS
What do you call a smart blonde?

Stupid?

GuardDog 05-04-2005 04:54 PM

Q: What did one strawberry say to another strawberry?
A: If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!!
:p


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