Jokes
 

"Californians"
>
> So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:
>
> 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.
>
> 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
>
> 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
>
> 4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
>
> 5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?
>
> 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
>
> 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
>
> 8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
>
> 9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
>
> 10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
>
> 11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
>
> 12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
>
> 13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?
>
> 14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
>
> 15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
>
> 16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather - related accidents.
>
> 17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
>
> 18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
>
> 19. The Terminator is your State Governor.
>
> 20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one!!!

May be we should get arnold to make pot legal, that way I can just drive to Cali, pick up 100 pounds and come back to GA.

A man walks into a bar.



Ouch.

Two Irish men leave a bar.

Hey, it could happen! :D

Hah!
 

Okay that totally cracked me up. My wife is total cracka' Irish (with Potato eatin' Mick parents) and I just shot my strawberry/banana smoothy out my nose when I read that.

Thanks Doc

Rave'

:D

p.s. - I was going to post Taurus's training regimine on this "Jokes" thread as a cheap laugh, but then I thought that would be too cruel. Plus he lives close enough to hunt me down. :D

...rat bastid....
 

Taurus, you rat bastid, you beat me to posting on this thread. :D

A little girl gets lost in the Mall and goes up to a security guard and says, “I can’t find my Grandpa”.
The security guard says, “What’s he like”?

The little girl says, “Young women and Jack Daniels”.

What's the best thing about getting some head?



Ten to fifteen minutes of silence. :p

Stupid?

Q: What did one strawberry say to another strawberry?
A: If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!!
:p