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Old 05-09-2006, 12:25 PM   #1
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Story With A Moral

In 1923, Who Was:

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International
Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the worlds
most successful of their days.

Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us,
if we know what ultimately became of them.

The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company.
Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company,
Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney,
was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger,
died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International
Settlement, shot himself.

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee
Livermore, also committed suicide.

However: in that same year, 1923, the PGA
Champion and the winner of the most
important golf tournament, the US Open, was
Gene Sarazen.

What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, died in
1999 at the age of 95.
He was financially secure at the time of
his death.

The Moral: Screw work. Play golf.

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Old 05-09-2006, 12:37 PM   #2
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In George Washington's days, there were no
cameras. One's image was either sculpted or
painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed
him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his
back while others showed both legs and both arms.
Prices charged by painters were not based on how
many people were to be painted, but by how many
limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are "limbs,"
therefore painting them would cost the buyer more.
Hence the expression, "Okay, but it'll cost you an
arm and a leg."


************************************************** **********

As incredible as it sounds, men and women took
baths only twice a year (May and October)! Women
kept their hair covered, while men shaved their
heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs.
Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool.
They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they
would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the
shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would
make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big
wig." Today we often use the term "here comes the
Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is
powerful and wealthy.


************************************************** **********

In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a
large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long
wide board folded down from the wall, and was used
for dining. The "head of the household" always sat
in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the
floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man,
would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal.
To sit in the chair meant you were important and in
charge. They called the one sitting in the chair
the "chair man." Today in business, we use the
expression or title "Chairman" or "Chairman of the
Board."


************************************************** **********

Personal hygiene left much room for
improvement. As a result, many women and men had
developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would
spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth
out their complexions. When they were speaking to
each other, if a woman began to stare at another
woman's face she was told, "mind your own bee's
wax." Should the woman smile, the wax would crack,
hence the term "crack a smile." In addition, when
they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt .
. . therefore, the expression "losing face."


************************************************** **********

Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in
the front. A proper and dignified woman . as in
"straight laced". . . wore a tightly tied lace.

************************************************** **********
Common entertainment included playing cards.
However, there was a tax levied when purchasing
playing cards but only applicable to the "Ace of
Spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would
purchase 51 cards instead.
Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these
people were thought to be stupid or dumb because
they weren't "playing with a full deck."


************************************************** **********
Early politicians required feedback from the
public to determine what the people considered
important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or
radios, the politicians sent their assistants to
local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to
"go sip some ale" and listen to people's
conversations and political concerns. Many
assistants were dispatched at different times. "You
go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words
"go sip" were eventually combined when referring to
the local opinion and, thus we have the term
"gossip."


************************************************** **********
At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank
from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid's
job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the
drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and
remember who was drinking in "pints" and who was
drinking in "quarts," hence the term "minding your
"P's and Q's."


************************************************** **********
One more: bet you didn't know this!
In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships
and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those
cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was
necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon.
However, how to prevent them from rolling about the
deck? The best storage method devised was a
square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting
on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen.
Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked
in a small area right next to the cannon. There was
only one problem...how to prevent the bottom layer
from sliding or rolling from under the others. The
solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16
round indentations.
However, if this plate were made of iron, the
iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution
to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys.."
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much
more and much faster than iron when chilled.
Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far,
the brass indentations would shrink so much that the
iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey.
Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze
the balls off a brass monkey." (All this time, you
thought that was an improper expression, didn't
you.)
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Old 05-09-2006, 12:38 PM   #3
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In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not
allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than
his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented.
It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies forbidden"...
and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
language.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the
US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can
hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who
walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now
get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness:
38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of
eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any
given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their
hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom
Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a
great king from history!
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has
both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground,
the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence
on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of
the rest signed on August 2, but the
last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.


Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most
popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you
have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield
wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any
other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed
frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the
mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase......... "Goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years
ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's
father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and
because their calendar was lunar based, this period
was called the honey month... Which we know today
as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts...
So in old England, when customers got unruly, the
bartender would yell at them "Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get
the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a
whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the
phrase inspired by this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will actually try
to lick their
elbow!!
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Old 05-09-2006, 12:45 PM   #4
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What will you become after you die?..Find Out

I'm am elephant..Go figure....
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Old 05-09-2006, 12:50 PM   #5
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I'm a horse, the explination was that only 20% of people reincarnate as something better. I hate horses,
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Old 05-09-2006, 12:54 PM   #6
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NO WONDER THE BLOODY BRITS LOST THE WAR.
THEY DRANK ALL THEIR WATER!!!


Some little known American military
history.



The USS Constitution (Old Ironsides) as a
combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons of fresh
water for her crew of 475 officers and men.
This was sufficient to last six months of
sustained operations at sea.
She carried no evaporators.

However, let it be noted that according
to her log, "On July 27, 1798, the USS
Constitution sailed from Boston with a full
complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600
gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot,
11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400
gallons of rum."


Her mission: "To destroy and harass
English shipping." Making Jamaica on 6
October, she took on 826 pounds of flour
and 68,300 gallons of rum.


Then she headed for the Azores,
arriving there 12 November. She provisioned
with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons
of Portuguese wine.


On 18 November, she set sail for
England. In the ensuing days she defeated
five British men-of-war and captured and
scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging
only the rum aboard each.


By 26 January, her powder and shot
were exhausted. Nevertheless, although
unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth
of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party
captured a whisky distillery and transferred
40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard
by dawn.

Then she headed home.


The USS Constitution arrived in Boston
on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot,
no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no
whisky and 38,600 gallons of stagnant water.


GO NAVY!
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Old 05-09-2006, 01:30 PM   #7
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An elephant.

It's amazing how many common expressions are nautical in origin...

Dressing Down -

Thin and worn sails were often treated with oil or wax to renew their effectiveness. This was called "dressing down". An officer or sailor who was reprimanded or scolded received a dressing down.


Footloose -

The bottom portion of a sail is called the foot. If it is not secured, it is footloose and it dances randomly in the wind.


First Rate -

Implies excellence. From the 16th century on until steam powered ships took over, british naval ships were rated as to the number of heavy cannon they carried. A ship of 100 or more guns was a First Rate line-of-battle ship. Second rates carried 90 to 98 guns; Third Rates, 64 to 89 guns; Fourth Rates, 50 to 60 guns. Frigates carrying 48 to 20 guns were fifth and sixth rated.


Pipe Down -

Means stop talking and be quiet. The Pipe Down was the last signal from the Bosun's pipe each day which meant "lights out" and "silence".


Leeway -

The weather side of a ship is the side from which the wind is blowing. The Lee side is the side of the ship sheltered from the wind. A lee shore is a shore that is downwind of a ship. If a ship does not have enough "leeway" it is in danger of being driven onto the shore.


Windfall -

A sudden unexpected rush of wind from a mountainous shore which allowed a ship more leeway.


Groggy -

In 1740, British Admiral Vernon (whose nickname was "Old Grogram" for the cloak of grogram which he wore) ordered that the sailors' daily ration of rum be diluted with water. The men called the mixture "grog". A sailor who drank too much grog was "groggy".


Three Sheets to the Wind -

A sheet is a rope line which controls the tension on the downwind side of a square sail. If, on a three masted fully rigged ship, the sheets of the three lower course sails are loose, the sails will flap and flutter and are said to be "in the wind". A ship in this condition would stagger and wander aimlessly downwind.


Pooped -

The poop is the stern section of a ship. To be pooped is to be swamped by a high, following sea.


As the Crow Flies -

When lost or unsure of their position in coastal waters, ships would release a caged crow. The crow would fly straight towards the nearest land thus giving the vessel some sort of a navigational fix. The tallest lookout platform on a ship came to be know as the crow's nest.


By and Large -

Currently means in all cases or in any case. From the nautical: by meaning into the wind and large meaning with the wind: as in, "By and Large the ship handled very well."


Cut and Run -

If a captain of a smaller ship encountered a larger enemy vessel, he might decide that discretion is the better part of valor, and so he would order the crew to cut the lashings on all the sails and run away before the wind. Other sources indicate "Cut and Run" meant to cut the anchor cable and sail off in a hurry.


In the Offing -
Currently means something is about to happen, as in - "There is a reorganization in the offing." From the 16th century usage meaning a good distance from shore, barely visible from land, as in - "We sighted a ship in the offing."


The Bitter End -

The end of an anchor cable is fastened to the bitts at the ship's bow. If all of the anchor cable has been payed out you have come to the bitter end.


Toe the Line -

When called to line up at attention, the ship's crew would form up with their toes touching a seam in the deck planking.


Overhaul -

To prevent the buntline ropes from chaffing the sails, crew were sent aloft to haul them over the sails. This was called overhauling.


Slush Fund -

A slushy slurry of fat was obtained by boiling or scraping the empty salted meat storage barrels. This stuff called "slush" was often sold ashore by the ship's cook for the benefit of himself or the crew. The money so derived became known as a slush fund.

Bear Down -

To sail downwind rapidly towards another ship or landmark.


Under the Weather -

If a crewman is standing watch on the weather side of the bow, he will be subject to the constant beating of the sea and the ocean spray. He will be under the weather.


Above Board -

Anything on or above the open deck. If something is open and in plain view, it is above board.


Overwhelm -

Old English for capsize or founder.


Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea -

The devil seam was the curved seam in the deck planking closest to the side of the ship and next to the scupper gutters. If a sailor slipped on the deck, he could find himself between the devil and the deep blue sea.

The Devil to Pay -

To pay the deck seams meant to seal them with tar. The devil seam was the most difficult to pay because it was curved and intersected with the straight deck planking. Some sources define the "devil" as the below-the-waterline-seam between the keel and the the adjoining planking. Paying the Devil was considered to be a most difficult and unpleasant task.


Rummage Sale -

From the French "arrimage" meaning ship's cargo. Damaged cargo was sold at a rummage sale.


A Square Meal -

In good weather, crews' mess was a warm meal served on square wooden platters.


Son of a Gun -

When in port, and with the crew restricted to the ship for any extended period of time, wives and ladies of easy virtue often were allowed to live aboard along with the crew. Infrequently, but not uncommonly, children were born aboard, and a convenient place for this was between guns on the gun deck. If the child's father was unknown, they were entered in the ship's log as "son of a gun".


Overbearing -

To sail downwind directly at another ship thus "stealing" or diverting the wind from his sails.


Taking the wind out of his sails -

Sailing in a manner so as to steal or divert wind from another ship's sails.


Let the Cat Out of the Bag -

In the Royal Navy the punishment prescribed for most serious crimes was flogging. This was administered by the Bosun's Mate using a whip called a cat o' nine tails. The "cat" was kept in a leather or baize bag. It was considered bad news indeed when the cat was let out of the bag. Other sources attribute the expression to the old english market scam of selling someone a pig in a poke(bag) when the pig turned out to be a cat instead.


No Room to Swing a Cat -

The entire ship's company was required to witness flogging at close hand. The crew might crowd around so that the Bosun's Mate might not have enough room to swing his cat o' nine tails.


Start Over with a Clean Slate -

A slate tablet was kept near the helm on which the watch keeper would record the speeds, distances, headings and tacks during the watch. If there were no problems during the watch, the slate would be wiped clean so that the new watch could start over with a clean slate.

Taken Aback -

A dangerous situation where the wind is on the wrong side of the sails pressing them back against the mast and forcing the ship astern. Most often this was caused by an inattentive helmsman who had allowed the ship to head up into the wind.


Fly-by-Night -

A large sail used only for sailing downwind and requiring rather little attention.


No Great Shakes -

When casks became empty they were "shaken" (taken apart) so the pieces, called shakes, could be stored in a small space. Shakes had very little value.


Give (someone) a Wide Berth -

To anchor a ship far enough away from another ship so that they did not hit each other when they swung with the wind or tide.


Garbled -

Garbling was the prohibited practice of mixing rubbish with the cargo. A distorted, mixed up message was said to be garbled.


Touch and Go -

This referred to a ship's keel touching the bottom and getting right off again.


Scuttlebutt -

A butt was a barrel. Scuttle meant to chop a hole in something. The scuttlebutt was a water barrel with a hole cut into it so that sailors could reach in and dip out drinking water. The scuttlebutt was the place where the ship's gossip was exchanged.

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If you act sanctimonious I will just list out your logical fallacies until you get pissed off and spew blasphemous remarks.
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Old 05-09-2006, 06:31 PM   #8
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i am a horse

Anuj
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Old 05-10-2006, 01:29 PM   #9
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I'm a Gorilla lol
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Old 05-13-2006, 01:54 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hrdgain81
I'm a horse, the explination was that only 20% of people reincarnate as something better. I hate horses,
Fuck that hrdgain, Id much rather be a horse than the alligator I got stuck with. At least if I was a horse skimpy bitches in short short cut off jean shorts could ride me all day long... well not as if they dont already
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