Chuck Norris

University scientists released the results of a recent analysis


That revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take
A concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer
contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by
drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men
were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then
observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Gained weight.
2) Talked excessively without making sense.
3) Became overly emotional.
4) Couldn't drive.
5) Failed to think rationally.
6) Argued over nothing.
7) Had to sit down while urinating.
8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

No further testing was considered necessary

Chuck Norris's Sig:

"Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf"