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Asking Advice

Personal Journals discussion on Asking Advice, within the Members Section; I blame mom ....


View Poll Results: When asking advice, your inner child...
Asks for many options, then picks the coolest one with disregard for which is best 2 22.22%
Only wants advice from those who're rather thick 3 33.33%
Just polling members to see if anyone's advice mimicks their own thoughts 2 22.22%
Would rather try out your own Frankenstein instead of learning from other people's mistakes 1 11.11%
Doesn't want advice, but asks for it anyways to make their own decisions feel better 1 11.11%
Doesn't quite know how to say, "I'd rather do something funner" 0 0%
Pretend you "already know" whatever someone brings up and then continue along the same path 0 0%
Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-18-2008, 02:26 AM   #11
TALO
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I blame mom .
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Old 10-18-2008, 11:41 AM   #12
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There are many reasons I bother and there are many reasons why sometimes it is like banging my head against a wall.

The thing is I usually always have a "why" and I am willing to defend and back up my advice in depth if called upon to do so. To me that is the responsible thing to do. I am not into this "authority by guru" thing where it is true because BigBob says it even though BigBob can't explain it except to say "this is what I do so you should too".


The thing is many people ask for "explanations" not because they just want to know the reasons but because they have already made up their mind that you are full of shit and the question is not a question but a "challenge". Hell, I've even fallen into that temptation myself when annoyed by some really goofy shit.

So am I supposed to read something more into every question or should I abstain from doing that in order to help those who really do want help? To assume whould make me an asshole. But sometimes giving so much makes me a sucker.

There are certain people, abrasive, where you KNOW they are not really asking but challenging. It is easy to tell because if you say something to that effect they will get really pissed off and defensive. Here's a hint..if they are not guilty of something, most people won't fly into a rage about it!

But there are certain people who will simply leach you. They will continually ask you to explain every thing you say and never come out and clearly tell you if they comprehend or believe in what you are saying..but intstead will just continue to leach you but never ultimately use the info. To me that is quite disrespectful of someone's time and effort.

Most of the time it is 'guru A' says this and you are saying that. Why do you differ? And what they are really saying is "i have more faith in guru A than you but I am humoring you". Well my request is to Man UP and say so and not make me write pages of explanation. Especially since most of the time I provide more explanation than your damned guru!

Many times the stuff I post is of a "teach a man to fish" variety and that is really not so taxing. Some people get something from it and some don't. Many times the specific advice I give someone is used by others even though the OP ignores it. I know becasue they will mention it. And I appreciate that..when someone takes the time to give you some feedback.

There is nothing more irritating to me than someone benefitting from my advice but not having the courtesy to give me some feedback on their experience. We do not operate in a vacumn. Seeing how your advice works out for people, or doesn't, is one of the ways in which you learn.

But you have two types of people. The "scarcity" mentality and the "abundance" mentality. The scarcity people, if you possess a lot of knowledge and are successful in what you do..then to them, you are taking from them. Taking a little piece of their pie. They figure there is only so much to go around and you are diminishing them by your efforts.

But the gems are the abundance people. They figure there is plenty to go around and when you help them you are not taking a piece of their pie or giving them a piece of yours. You are giving them the ingredients to make a pie. And they happily and faithfully pass on those recipes based on their success. Those are the people who keep me bothering.

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If you act sanctimonious I will just list out your logical fallacies until you get pissed off and spew blasphemous remarks.
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Old 10-18-2008, 02:11 PM   #13
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Interesting topic DH, not sure that any of your poll answer's match my train of thought. if I ask for advice, then don't take it, its either because I didn't think the "why" was sufficient enough, or because I hate you ... hahahah.

On a serious note, I usually try to throw out ideas, as apposed to giving advice. I think sparking discussion, and then culling the answers that were given to a consensus is the best way for everyone to learn. On the other hand, sometimes things are so cut and dry you dont need discussion.

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Old 10-18-2008, 02:24 PM   #14
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Lofty goal...it's just not reality.
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Old 10-18-2008, 02:45 PM   #15
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^May not be, but you know what they say, shooting for the moon and all that. I agree with hrdgain, I really like when discussions come up - sometimes I don't contribute if it's over my head (that's actually kinda common) but I almost always learn something valuable from it.
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Old 10-18-2008, 02:56 PM   #16
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I always shoot for discussion. But generally unless everybody is saying the same old shit that everyone general believes anyway..there is not much discussion. It is the same old "appeal to authority" I was talking about.

Like D, I don't want to just offend and piss people off, but some put a little more effort into this than others so when I write a big heap of why's and wherefor's only to get accused of writing too much and the "consensus" is based on a bunch of one-line dogmatic shit from 20 posters..that ain't discussion. That's just mob mentality.

Sorry, like D, I am not trying to piss people off, but some people have a bigger reason to be irritated sometimes than others and just trying to flub it off isn't going to make us feel like it's worth it.

But I know that you take in stuff big time, Cradler, don't get me wrong.

I remember trying to help a beginner with a lot of indepth stuff when he was trying to start the right way. I put a lot of work into it. Then someone comes along after all that and says, "just go in a lift some heavy shit". So a bunch of members come on and praise that post like it was a gift from God. Why? Because this member that posted it was concieved as an authority and got his ass kissed for basically nothing. THAT was the consensus and I was rightfully irritated. This kind of thing happens all the time.

So, I'm "discussing" what's been said about discussion.

This is relevant:

http://maxcondition.com/page.php?117

Care to discuss?
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Old 10-18-2008, 07:14 PM   #17
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E's on point here. I kinda created this as a vent thread as well, so I'm happy to see Eric gettin' some!

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Old 10-19-2008, 03:27 PM   #18
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Man I like Jamie Hale:

http://www.maxcondition.com/page.php?105

Are you a skeptic or a cynic?
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Old 10-19-2008, 03:30 PM   #19
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Eric, I think my biggest gripe I have is when everything's labelled as a "PR" when it's a new exercise or something lol. It's like, "Look, it's working!" Sure, see you in a month.
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Old 10-19-2008, 03:31 PM   #20
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LMAO...I get a pr on oh squats everytime I do them. OH, and pistols, lol. Um..let me see, I think the easy days are nearing an end on OH squats.
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