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-   -   Asking Advice (http://www.bodybuilding.net/personal-journals/asking-advice-11980.html)

Darkhorse 10-16-2008 02:49 PM

Asking Advice
 
When anybody asks for advice whether from pm, email, shoutbox, journal, thread, phone call, bird messenger, morse code, sign language, or by telekenisis, there's a few of us who like to know why, so I created an anonymus poll to help my thesis paper I'm writing. :D

I just looked through A LOT of threads today and saw that there's a lot of advice that was said, but not at all applied. Aside from myself and Eric, I see tons of great advice lately from lots of members here, which is awesome because it looks like ya'll are soaking in what's been kicked around here down through the years.

So if someone recommends front squats and lists reasons why, I don't understand why someone would rather do back squats or a leg press for absolutely no reason other than they're either lazy, or they'd rather make their own mistakes and learn from them vs. saving time.

**This is NOT about any one or two or five people.. This really isn't too much to do with THIS forum compared to all the others I'm on as well. I'll be posting this about everywhere, so don't feel singled out. But, if you take offense to any of this, and if the shoe fits, then rub the sand out of your vag because i'm not here to help this forum run smooth. I'm here to give out reality checks, FORCE people to hit PR's, and most importantly, being an asshole is something I'm trying to aspire to lately. And that's only going to help. :)

Darkhorse 10-16-2008 03:02 PM

A very good friend on mine wrote this:

Taking Someone’s Advice by SB
----------------------------------------

I get many requests for training and nutritional advice. A good deal of them are the same kind of question, “Can you look over my program?” “Can you look over my diet?”, “Is this too much?”, etc…and in general I have no problem answering questions for folks. Part of this game that I enjoy, is helping people.

However, an interesting phenomenon goes on. About one in five takes the advice. I notice this because eventually they post their program, diet or whatever for the public to see, and I then do not recognize any of my input in it. Then, usually one or two Vets, posts something similar to my advice that was originally given, and the person says, “I’ll have to think about that…” Months later, the person posts the same program again and the cycle repeats. Notice, the person has failed to take anyone’s advice seriously and as a result, the person has not gained and cannot understand why.

I’ve thought a lot about this phenomenon. There is something called a ‘confirmation bias’ where a person will selectively take beliefs that back up their conceptions, while excluding beliefs that go against what they don’t want to believe. A person has a particular program in mind and every person who posts, regardless of reputation or status that goes FOR their position, and one uses that support to confirm what the person wants to believe.

The following case is NOT anyone in particular, but you will recognize the general form. For example, let’s call him “SMP”. SMP has been thinking that he is not growing and the problem is he is not taking enough gear, so he decides to try a high milligram cycle. He posts his cycle and asks for comments. People ask him his bodyweight, experience, training, etc… to help SMP get an answer. However, anyone who goes against the idea of a high milligram cycle is immediately not listened to because SMP is looking for a justification to do it. In other words, his mind is ALREADY made up and the only reason for posting is to confirm what he is doing is right.

This doesn’t happen in every case, as some are truly open to changing things and actually look at disconfirming evidence or beliefs with the same mindset as confirming beliefs. This kind of critical mindset is what you must adopt. Look at both sides: see why you should, and should not do something. Rationally weigh both sides and if what you originally planned to do comes out worse for the wear, then you have grown in your thinking and ultimately your physique may benefit.

Lastly though, and why I am concerned about this, is that if someone comes to me for advice, I take it that they either respect my opinion or think that I actually know what I am talking about. This holds for any legitimate Vet, Mod, or Admin this is not about ego for them or me. In addition, it seems to me that if you do not know what you are doing, you should TRUST someone who has the experience and at least give the advice the benefit of trying it out. I know of NO single legitimate Vet or Mod who would purposely mislead anyone. How can we help you, if you do not take the advice and see it through?

SB

Pitysister 10-16-2008 03:26 PM

i'm offended. asshole.



;)

Kane 10-16-2008 05:19 PM

I obstain from voting since I didn't see an option that matched my answer to 'why I ask for advice' :D

I definitely feel as frustrated as you do DH. Sometimes I wonder why I bother taking the time to give any sort of detailed response when, in the end, the advice would've been better served by giving it to a fuckin wall. Not exclusively on this site, it happens in real life quite a bit as well.

TALO 10-16-2008 05:29 PM

#1, baby!!

Ross86 10-16-2008 07:50 PM

I picked what most closely relates...but it's not spot on. Nor is it what my first choice would be.

Darkhorse 10-17-2008 07:26 PM

Thanks men!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane
I definitely feel as frustrated as you do DH. Sometimes I wonder why I bother taking the time to give any sort of detailed response when, in the end, the advice would've been better served by giving it to a fuckin wall. Not exclusively on this site, it happens in real life quite a bit as well.

We're definately on the same page Kane lol. That's really a big reason why I don't bother. I see Eric still does even though.... :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross
I picked what most closely relates...but it's not spot on. Nor is it what my first choice would be.

I understand, but I didn't want to put an "other" box because naturally everyone would pick that thinking, "Well, I only gaff people off once every five questions."

Joker13 10-17-2008 07:32 PM

O.K. I know I should be squating instead of leg pressing..geeeeez sorry :biglaugh::biglaugh:

Cradler 10-17-2008 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkhorse (Post 69124)
We're definately on the same page Kane lol. That's really a big reason why I don't bother. I see Eric still does even though....

I hope this isn't true, DH - I haven't directly asked you too many questions, I don't think, but either by reading your journal or asking questions I feel like I've learned a hell of a lot about training principles. (And I've tried to make use of everyone's advice in at least some way!) :)

Either way what I am saying is don't shut it down entirely - you da bomb DH.

edit - this is also true of like kane anuj eric talo pity hrdgain monsta and muchos otros but hey you know what i am saying

Ross86 10-17-2008 09:17 PM

Cradler's post reminded me of some advice that you gave me once, DH. I didn't follow it. But I have recommended it to other people since then. So maybe it's not a total loss..? :D

As to the question the poll is asking.... Why does our inner child have to be a jackass? :) Wait, wait... I just realized that some people voted, so I'm not going to call everyone's inner child who voted a jackass (me included). I try not to talk about people's kids like that. So maybe "little satan"?


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