You're right it IS a pretty standard warning. You'll find similar warnings on many, many herbs, if not on the labels then at least in herbal resources like pdr's.

With Fenugreek, the pregnancy warning is there for a reason, since it has the possibility of causing uterine contractions and premature labor. But as far as the lactation, it's more of a "until more research is available" type of warning. It is because you can't be sure how it affects the child when it gets into the milk (and it probably will). In fact the other standard warning is not to give it to children.

Now, as far as I know, nothing bad has been reported in terms of negative effects on infants or children. Of course, there is always a chance of an allergic reaction. I'll let you know if I come accross anything.

Here is info on Fenugreek and Breastfeeding.

Your wife might want to look at this site in general.

Edit* I forgot to say: Congragulations!

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If you act sanctimonious I will just list out your logical fallacies until you get pissed off and spew blasphemous remarks.