Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a
long commercial flight.
After they're airborne and the plane has leveled
off, the man in the window seat abruptly says,
distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice,
"Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married,
two sons, both surgeons."

After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat
states through a tight lipped smile, "Admiral,
United States Coast Guard, retired.
Married, two sons, both Judges."

After some thought, the fellow in the center
seat decides to introduce himself. With a
twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Gunnery
Sergeant, United States Marines, retired Never
married, two sons, both Admirals.


---------------------------------------------------------------
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was
driving down a muddy back road encountered another
car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at
the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the
lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and
handing him the keys, "Yours is."


---------------------------------------------------------------

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous,
new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman
knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel
quickly picked up the phone, told the airman
to enter, and then said into the phone, "Yes,
General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and
I'll pass along your message.
In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes,
sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently
impressed the young enlisted man, he asked,
"What do you want?" "Nothing important,
sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook
up your telephone."


--------------------------------------------------------------

Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a
dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer!
Now let's try it again! Do you have change for
a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"


---------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at
your party?
A: He'll tell you.

Q: What's the difference between God and fighter
pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.


---------------------------------------------------------------

An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general
were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just
getting finished with their shaves, when the
barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on
their faces. The general shouted, "Hey, don't put
that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been
in a whorehouse!" The sergeant turned to his barber
and said, "Go ahead and put it on me. My wife
doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse
smells like."


---------------------------------------------------------------
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the
bewildered seaman, "I suppose after you get
discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting
for me to die so you can come and pee on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get
out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line
again!"


---------------------------------------------------------------

The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris
by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his
passport. "You 'ave been to France before,
monsieur?" the customs officer asked
sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had
been to France previously. "Zen, you should know
enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I
didn't have to show it." "Impossible. You Americans
alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in
France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a
long hard look. Then he quietly explained, "Well,
when I came ashore at Omaha Beach in '44 I
couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

__________________

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