Quote:
Monday Deadlift/Back
Deadlift
Stiff leg deadlift
Barbell shrugs
One-arm rows
Lat pulldowns
Wednesday Bench press/Chest + Arms
Flat Bench
Narrow grip bench press
Incline Bench Press
Tricep press down
One arm tricep Ext.
Straight Bar Curls
Hammer Curls
Friday Squat/Legs
Squat
Leg extensions
Leg Curls
Seated Cave raises
Standing Calve raises
Saturday Behind the Neck Press/Shoulders
BTN
Front D.Bell Raises
Lat. D.Bell Raises
Rear D.Bell Raises
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Is this what your are doing? In that order?
If so I'll try to give you a little bit more than platitudes (no offense Kane).
Where you feel an exercise can depend on your form for one thing. You say nobody does the deadlifts at the YMCA (which is not surprising) so you have no way to gauge whether you are really doing them properly. You'll have to read up and seriously examine your postioning, etc. Also, on an exercise like deadlifts, a very large percentage of your total musculature is being engaged at the same time (this is why we do them!). Your entire "core" for instance (those are the "trunk muscles").
If you doing the deadlifts correctly then there is NO WAY that your back isn't coming into play whether you feel it or not. However, depending on the relative weakness of different muscle groups, emphasis can be shifted. In other words, stronger parts take up the slack. But you can't do a deadlift without your back and abdomen. It's as simple as that. Your probable feeling your legs because they are being overworked at this point.
If your are doing the above from StoneW and since you just started out...and if you want to lift "heavy"... this is probably more exercises than you need.
You're going right into heavy volume mode before your body has learned to catch up. Your recovery is probably slower than it will eventually be.
You'd probably be better of right now with a simpler routine that concentrate on those big compound movements like squat, deadlift, benchpress, rows/pulldowns, and shoulder press (I recommend against behind the neck unless you have a specific reason). Add in all those isolations if you want once you're recovery improves. I would drop the stiff leg deadlifts for now. If not, I'd recommend Romanian deadlifts instead which are a bit easier on your lower back (read: SPINE).
It's okay to be a little sore when you workout. If you're thighs are really "killing you" then you may need to take a step back....or if you are just getting more and more sore. And as StoneW0rrior mentioned before, STRETCHING after your workout is very important and can significantly enhance recovery.
What the average guy does in your gym should not really be a factor in what you do, btw. I mean, I never wore spandex bodysuits to the gym, after all.