first of all its very hard for women to get "big" because they dont produce the amount of testosterone that males do so dont worry about that...for the toned and hard look that comes with diet and cardio. try to do cardio 3-4 times a week around 30-40 min per session, preferably after your weight training. work on stretching your muscles after your workout to help recovery and relieve some of the soreness. stick with about 2-3 sets with about 25 reps each set, and about 30 second rest periods between sets. good luck!

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age-20
6'0" 190lbs
bench press-245x2
a2g squats-455x1-9/7/06
deadlift-475x1-9/5/06

"An ounce of prevention beats a pound of cure."