Now that's some funny sh*t!
That and the Stigmata comment by Taurus.

But seriously, I'd say try what WM says. I personally usually use the heel of my hand when doing heavy sets, or I'll alternate if I feel a great deal of discomfort.

Still, this may not eliviate your pain. I suspect the problem you are having is a nerve pinch. I've had several of them, and I occaissionally get them in my hands when benching. It feels very painful, and then numbness, and I feel like I want to drop the bar. I used to stop working out when it would happen, but now, I have found ways to work through it. 1. I complete the set I'm doing, even through the pain. Then I massage the tendons in my hand, and especially my forarm (yes, this will effect your hands. Take the tips of your fingers and squeeze your forarm on top and squeeze it all the way across.) I'll also stick my fingers inbetween the tendons and sort of massage them in my forarms and hands. This always seems to get rid of the nerve pinches, and I can continue my workout without further discomfort. It may be worth a try for you.

Raven