On bench, for most, the safest grip is going to be around shoulder width or a little wider, like the others have said they use. And most will use a slightly wider grip than that on MP's..this has also much to do with flexibility.

It is also important thought to ensure that you elbows don't flare out from your sides too much. It won't do you too much good to try to protect you shoulders with a proper grip and then flare out you elbows. Most will end up with their upper arms somewhere around a 30 to 45 degree ange from their body. Closer is probably better...but you don't have to try and tuck you arms completely to your sides unless this is what feels right to you.

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If you act sanctimonious I will just list out your logical fallacies until you get pissed off and spew blasphemous remarks.