I think you need help. Sorry to say but it sounds like you have some issues that a psychiatrist *sp* could help you with that stem from something more than we can help you with. We can get you started with diet and workouts but when it comes to mental health you need to go see someone. Please take care.

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MONSTER: My Strength Endurance Journal, Part 2: The Strength Endurance Journal Returns <--NEW

BULKING: My 5X5 Journal

CUTTING: My CKD Max-OT Journal, My HST Cutting Journal