I always loved the "You aren't going to look like that (pointing to Mr. Olympia in a bodybuilding magazine) are you?"

...yes mom, I am going to defy god and genetics to put on 100+ lbs of muscle so I can be in a magazine preferred by skinny kids and gay men. *rolleyes*

If I'm getting in a magazine it will be for closing the #3 Captains of Crush gripper.