311, I think I obviously misunderstood some of what you said. I think you misunderstood some of what I said, also.

Since this is basically writing and not a face to face conversation, I try to get my thoughts together and be as clear as possible. It is my job as the writer to make you understand where I am coming from. I must have failed this time.

Please don't take this as a criticism, but if you want to initiate threads that are based on "hot buttons" and emotionally charged subjects, you should expect to get some emotionally charged responses.

Be that as it may, all of my comments were in response to the content of your post and not any assumption on my part as to your character.

I didn't think for a second that you were attacking the Air Force. I wouldn't have cared if you did, any more than I care when people say that everyone from the south is an inbred redneck (even though I'm from Mississippi). I don't know why you would think I was being defensive. I apologize if it sounded that way.

When I mentioned the Air Force, I was simply pointing out that women are a big part of the Air Force (which I knew you already understood) and that an Air Force recruit better be able to work with them.

I tried to convey my respect for the Marines. I worked with Marines in both Saudi and the Mid-East in general and I didn't know or care how they acted in their barracks; the way they performed in their jobs was nothing but impressive to me. In fact, I had to work with all the branches, either in person or by radio, in order to perform my job, and things always went smoothest with the Marines. I used to boast that the only people as good at their job as me was the Marines.

I'm having trouble with my ISP so I'm not using quotes but I shouldn't have used the phrase "control himself in the barracks" since it was an unclear and general statement. In the Air Force we lived in what were essentially college dorms. One time when we were deployed to Oman in tents my Captain slipped a couple of Actifed in my beer to put me to sleep. (I wondered why he offered to get me a beer and insisted on opening it). But I was out of control and impossible to live with. I wasn't behaving myself. I wasn't being a "good boy". Good thing I didn't have to live in barracks all the time.

When I talked about controlling oneself I was referring to raping a woman if for some reason a woman was in the barracks. You and your buddies wouldn't sit around and let that happen any more than you would let some crazy guy go ballistic and stab someone or something if you could stop it. I should not have said "control". I should have said what I meant.

I used to get in fights all the time that were meaningless. You didn't even hold a grudge. There was always something keeping me from trying to kill the guy or even do permanent damage. When you get in a fight, that's one thing. When a guy pulls a on you or something, that's something else entirely.

To illustrate my point, there was this crazy little guy in the Air Force who got in an argument when we were out on a cleaning detail. It went straight from being a shoving match to this guy picking up an old 2x4 with nails sticking out of the end and starting to whack the other guy with it. He would have hit him in the head with the nails if we hadn't stopped him. Now I could be wrong, but I don't think this guy could have cut it in combat. He was already acting like some of those guys in Platoon you were talking about yet he wasn't in a life or death situation. (Why did you bring up Platton? I sincerely hope you're not implying that I think war is some simplistic fantasy with good guys and bad guys).

As far as the rest of it, regarding war, and big guns, and all that, it seems like anything I say will just further muddy the waters. Like you said, we could argue all day on this, and it would probably end up being beside the point. The whole point was about sexual assault. You don't condone rape. I don't condone rape. We may just have different opinions on how to avoid it.

Women in the infantry? I don't presume to have ideas on that. My idea is that rapists have no place in the military, and I think that you can respect my right to hold that opinion.

My exact statement was: "Are we saying that women should not be allowed in the military or in certain jobs but, on the other hand, sex offenders should be welcomed?"

I was making a point about sex offenders not about women in the military in general. My point in this case was that keeping women out of the military or away from certain jobs is not an answer to rape or even potential rape. Just like turning a co-ed college dorm into an all male dorm is not answer to rape or potential rape in said dorm. It was again, a general statement and not an argument about women in the infantry, which is more complicated an issue than just whether rapes would occur, although that's complicated enough.

It occurs to me, though, that the large majority of these incidents are in these academy situations and not out in the "real military". I never considered the situation at, say, the Air Force Academy, as having a whole lot to do with the situation in the Air Force itself. That's two different world's, if I may borrow a phrase.

I doubt I have addressed everything you said. I understand where you are coming from and hope that nothing I have said comes across as ire or defensiveness. Even under the best of circumstances, our meaning is not always clear to others. What I take one way, another might take in a completely different way. When I read your reactions to my comments, I simply set about trying to clear up any miscommunications we have had if I could. I admitted my failure to make myself understood, causing you to react to my statements not as a discussion or argument of points but as an attack on you.

I may not be the only person who took your post the way I did, either. Mavbe we can both agree to try to be as clear as possible in the future and if we're not sure simply say "Are you saying this, or are you saying that" instead of taking any offense.

So, no hard feelings on my part. Thanx