I posted this in my blog last night... figured it would be fitting to put here too
The Grocery Store Rant
Let’s start with the parking lot. Ok people, stop driving around at 0.5 mph for 20 minutes hoping to get that very front parking spot. Park in the first open spot you come to. Walk the extra 50 feet to the front entrance. It won’t kill you.
All the carts suck. Grab one and deal with it. Stop ’testing’ them before you choose.
Even though you’re not driving your own car through the store, traffic rules still apply. It’s a two lane road in the aisle. You stay to the right. Pass when it’s clear. Don’t tailgate (you have no idea how much I loathe the people that repeatedly nail my ankle with their cart). And even though there’s no yield sign, stop sign, lighted signal, when you get to the end of the aisle, before jumping out into ’traffic,’ have a look and see if you’re about to T-bone someone.
If you abandon your cart in the middle of the aisle to go check out that special on ding dongs across the room, I WILL move your cart out of my way. Don’t get pissy with me about it. Oh, and when you do that, take your damn purse with you instead of leaving it right there in the front basket of your cart. There ARE thieves in the world, ya know.
Please at least TRY to keep an eye on your children. I won’t be held responsible when they run head first into the corner of my cart.
Moving along to the checkout... probably the part I hate the most. Don’t stand on my ass and breathe your stinky breath down the back of my neck. Creeping me out and invading my personal space will NOT get you checked out sooner. And guess what, there’s no discounts on your groceries for it either. STOP IT!
Back to the parking lot.... You just pushed your heavy cart full of groceries out to your car. You’ve unloaded them from your cart and into the car. Guess what? The cart’s empty now, and light as heck compared to how it was before. Is it really that hard to push back it to the nearest cart collection area? I mean, criminy, they’re every 20 feet or so all over the parking lot! Pushing your damn cart into the side of my car so that you have just enough room to get your own car out is NOT the way it’s done.
Oh, and you morons that are just coming in as I’m leaving, stop following me to my car. And most certainly, stop sitting there, blocking traffic, waiting for me to pull out so that you can have my space. I parked in the first spot I found, you should do the same. And if you sit there waiting for me to leave....guess what? I’ll sit in my car even longer waiting for your impatient ass to give up and go away. THEN I’ll leave. Yeah, I’m kinda bitchy like that. But it takes us back to one of my first points: it won’t kill you to walk to extra 50 feet to the front entrance of the store. Plus, you’ll burn a couple of calories in the process ;)
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