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I just started a 5x5 and need some advice

My fat ass cant do pull-ups, whats everyones opinion on an alternative.

should I just do wide bar lat pul-downs or should i use the pull-up machine thing that simulates a pull-up where you can offset your bodyweight making it possible to do them and work up from there till I can actually do them myself??

Either will work. I like pull ups more than lat pulls because more muscles are activated during the motion. I think doing the assisted pull ups would be more beneficial because it's the same motion as a real pull up.

Pulldowns could be a very frustrating thing if your intention is to have them lead to pullups. There is not a very good carryover. I've seen this effect myself a couple months ago. I had a freind over who is a naturally large muscled and strong guy...he couldn't really do any full rom pullups. Although he did a few partial. But when he got on my lat pulldown I couldn't seem to find enough plates for him

I agree with Ross that assisted pullups would be a better bet.

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If you act sanctimonious I will just list out your logical fallacies until you get pissed off and spew blasphemous remarks.

excellent thanx for the response guys

Like Eric said, assisted pull ups are a much better option as far as leading up to non assisted versions. Don't be ashamed, a lot of people, including myself, couldn't do them or can only do a few at first (especially the naturally bigger guys). Just work them going lighter and lighter on the assistance until you don't need it anymore.