how about a dual package of "Buy a pack of beer flavored gum, get a free instant beer pellet."
I think they already have the gum, though, and pass it out at AA meetings to help people stop their addiction...
"The iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The iron will always kick you the real deal. The iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends come and go, but 200 pounds is always 200 pounds."
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