Go Back   Bodybuilding.net - Bodybuilding Forum > >


Tips to Look Busy at Work



Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-09-2006, 05:08 PM
Dr X's Avatar
Dr X Dr X is offline
Rank: Lightweight
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: in the deep recesses of your mind
Posts: 1,094
Default Tips to Look Busy at Work

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.

People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet.

Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the impression that you work longer hours than you do.


2. Use computers to look busy.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.

When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

3. Messy desk.
Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts.

Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail.
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing ? they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.

If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.
One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Appear to Work Late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read, but have no time until late before leaving.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.

8. Stacking Strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc... You can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.

9. Build Vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products.

Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

10. MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
__________________
The Fool say in his heart "There is no God"
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-09-2006, 05:12 PM
EricT EricT is offline
Rank: Heavyweight
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,314
Default

LMAO.

In the Air Force if we were deploying and I didn't feel like working I would walk around with a clipboard in my hand pretending to make check marks while staring at the equipment. Or I would walk around all puposefull like with a screwdriver in my hand.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
or
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


If you act sanctimonious I will just list out your logical fallacies until you get pissed off and spew blasphemous remarks.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-10-2006, 02:23 PM
verbatimreturned verbatimreturned is offline
Rank: Lightweight
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: new york
Posts: 1,372
Default

hahaha very funny stuff. Now I know we don't have stickies in this section of the forum, but I think this one deserves to be....just for those of you on the forums while at work Cough0311Cough, definatly good reference material
Reply With Quote
Reply

  Bodybuilding.net - Bodybuilding Forum > >


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes



 



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:44 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.